the tiny eyes of clint Eastwood

Here is a list of both good and bad things I’ve done or have befallen me in 2008. If any of my numerous readers feel that I have left anything out please feel free to comment. Yeah right, I’m pretty sure it’s just Gerda that reads this anyway, but it’s nice to be creative in a completely un-original modern kind of way.
Best:
1. Getting my 2:1 which I’m pretty sure I didn’t deserve. Writing most of my essays over night and revising all night prior to exams. If God didn’t want me to do this he wouldn’t have invented Relentless energy drinks and put them in pint cans. Amen
2. My 2 month job as a counselor at camp Connri summer camp in Connecticut. I may have been paid 60 cents (35p) an hour, had no sleep and only half a day off per week but I hope that I made a difference to some of the kids who came to Connri. I think as long as some of them felt as if somebody cared about how they felt and was actually interested in what they said, even if it was just for a week, our work was positive.
3. Forming an unlikely friendship with my flat mates; Rikin, Ben and Mikey. Well I think we’re friends, better not ask them, just in case.
4. Being nominated to attend the Presidential Inauguration in January. I’m glad it was Obama. It gives me another chance to unintentionally offend the actually deserving students of another Washington conference. Also I can pretend to the American girls that I’m just like James Bond. More of a Shaun Connery than a Roger Moore. If I was as successful with girls as in England as I am in America they’d probably make a statue of me.
5. Surviving a whole year. I could have died numerous times this year. Bus Crash, Car Crash, Bike Crash, Stock Market Crash, poison, Lightning, meteorites, asteroids. I have managed, cleverly to avoid all of these pitfalls. I’ll have to keep my wits about me if I want to survive to see the Apocalypse in 2012.
Worst:
1. Being a NO man. After watching Jim Carrey’s classic, Yes Man. I have realized that I have been travelling through my life without taking any risks or doing the right thing as much as I should. Hopefully in 2009 I can challenge myself to say yes to more things. With HILLARIOUS consequences!
2. Granddad dying. He was in the late stage of Alzheimer’s and maybe in his death he found peace, there’s no way of knowing. The worst thing was seeing my Grandmother dealing with the loss of a man she had loved since she was 18. Considering this, she is coping well.

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Cook along with Cormac McCarthy

Pasta.

Plain.

But Good.

INGREDIENTS:

Pasta.
And salt.

And water.

And Fire.

DIRECTIONS:

Place the pasta in the water and the salt in the water and the water in the pot and the pot on the fire.

In the pot?

The fire in the pot?

No. The water in the pot.

The pot on the fire.

The pasta in the water?

Yes, in the water.

And the salt in the fire?

No. The salt in the water.

And the water on the fire?

No. The water in the pot and the pot on the fire.

Not the water on the fire.

For then the fire will die and dying be dead.

Nor will the water boil and the pasta will drain dry and not cooked and hard to the teeth.

The salt falls nor does it cease to fall.

The water boils.

So be it.

Cease from placing your hand in the boiling water.

Place your hand in the boiling water and it will cause you pain.

Much pain?

Very much pain.

In the pot the bubbles bubble up and bubble some more. The bubbles are bubbly. Never more bubbly bubbles bubbling bubbliest. And having bubbled the bubbles still bubbly.

Or bubblier?

Or bubblier.

Across the kitchen a board intended for chopping. Here. Take it. Chop.

What will I chop? There are no ingredients to chop.

Just chop. Don't cease from chopping. To chop is to become a man.

After 10 minutes. The pasta stiff and dry and upright no more. The pasta lank and wet and soft. In the eternal damp of water.

Pour water free like some ancient anointing. The pasta left alone in the pot. Alone and naked.

The salt? Where's the salt?

The salt is gone. Lost to the water and gone forever.

I grieve for the salt.

It is the salt for which I grieve.

Tip the pasta out.

The pasta?

Yes. Tip it out. Onto.

A plate?

Yes. And stop.

Finishing your sentences?

Yes.

Why?

Because it's so.

Irritating?

Nothing in your memory anywhere of anything so good. Now the pasta is eaten. Disappeared. The pasta disappeared as everything disappeared. As the comma disappears and the semicolon disappears and the inverted comma disappears and the apostrophe disappears and the adjectives and the pronouns all disappear.

Leaving just full stops and And.

And And?

And And.

And And.

who is this women and why is she judging me?
why is standing by that box like she knows ive only got 60 seconds to upload my essay?
with her arms crossed and head to one side. If she could speak she would be saying, 'why did you leave it so late? Im always here on time,'

bitch

I have 4000 words to write by tomorow, its 16:53. How did this happen again? Will I ever learn?

If I was drafted to Vietnam Id probably have flashbacks of living in Colchester

This is by far the best painting I have have ever done.

Its Johnny Cash. My art teacher Mr Kelly Lonergan covered up Johnny during a school open day. If your ever in Virginnia you can see it on the wall of the art classroom at Woodberry Forest School

but its probably gone
http://uk.youtube.com/watch?v=-hm9Ds51VBQ&feature=related